It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
