I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I will pee on everything he values.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
