So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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