i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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