Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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