He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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