You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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