No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
