i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
