I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
