dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
