end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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