ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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