school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
