your parents love me but you hate me
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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