Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Who died my cat blue again?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize