You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
