Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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