did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
