Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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