last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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