They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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