just come out here and I will go home with you...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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