I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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