i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Buhtt sex?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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