just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize