That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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