also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
