He is an equal opportunity slut.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
