wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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