I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
