He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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