Hey man sorry I got all grabby
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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