the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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