i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
