just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
