He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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