he puts the penis in happiness.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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