you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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