bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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