i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
