You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
