I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
