K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
