I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize