you would pick up someone in the library
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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