the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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