This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
