wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
