i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
