Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
