His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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