It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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