So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize