I have demons in me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I need a beard to bite.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
