I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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