When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
