It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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