I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
