btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize