I faked an abortion last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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